I have really enjoyed my pregnancy, no major complications, not major weight gain, I have been able to work... until last week. Although I am still doing what I can now.. it just seems like so much has happened in a week. This has taken its toll on me!
I am sure everyone goes through lots of feelings at the end of their pregnancy! I mean you are about to bring this little person into the world.. so my natural instinct right now is.. WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING!
All in all I am scared, petrified (mainly of delivery- whichever way it happens) sad, guilty I feel like I will have nothing for this little one, I have no connection to him, and cant even imagine how you can love something when you didnt know what it would look like. I feel like they will hand me this rolled up thing.. and I will not know what to do with him, or how I feel about him! This scares me BEYOND belief, all I have wanted since I was young was a baby, and now its going to happen I am scared! I guess its natural I mean its a big deal!
On the upside I think Kent is going to be wonderful at this. He talks big but at the end of the day hes got the biggest heart! I think we are both scared to death, but we have been through plenty, this is just another part, with what I am told is a wonderful end result!
So theres my pity party, I am sure (or at least I hope) its natural. I may spend some time in his room today .. I just feel like I want to crawl in a hole :( good job I am on bedrest! I can!:)
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
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